don't regret what you've done because what's done is done.
don't follow me. i don't want you to.
here's to us...and all your lies.
Not So Summery/Little Bunny Miku
1 day ago
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
gone
i told her off.
how rude is it to enter someone's room without knocking first? and it's not the first time. COUNTLESS of times.
she caught me on a really bad day. this is the first time i'm warning her about entering my room. if she does it again...on another bad day, that's it.
there's so much i can take from an annoying person who gets away with everything. and everything that she does that is wrong, makes all of us look bad. but does she care? no. when her files went missing...all of us came back to help her out. did she say thanks? not a single squeak.
fuck her. i am done with all this crap. i am done with taking people's crap. i am done with listening to what people think is good for me. i am done with having so much fear of the unknown. i am done with everything!
because everything that i wanted is gone.
how rude is it to enter someone's room without knocking first? and it's not the first time. COUNTLESS of times.
she caught me on a really bad day. this is the first time i'm warning her about entering my room. if she does it again...on another bad day, that's it.
there's so much i can take from an annoying person who gets away with everything. and everything that she does that is wrong, makes all of us look bad. but does she care? no. when her files went missing...all of us came back to help her out. did she say thanks? not a single squeak.
fuck her. i am done with all this crap. i am done with taking people's crap. i am done with listening to what people think is good for me. i am done with having so much fear of the unknown. i am done with everything!
because everything that i wanted is gone.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
and so it is...
my car is still in the workshop.
oh wait. you didn't know? i got into a car crash about a month ago...wait..make that a month and a half ago. coming march 17th would've been two months. and yes. it's still in the freaking workshop in freaking sungai buloh. why is it there you ask? because...because. i malas want to explain already la. to cut long long LONG story short...
my car is still in the workshop.
on to some other news...yes? because just talking about my car and it's current situation and home is kinda depressing. i've been leaving with my colleague for the past month or so already. she graciously allowed me to sleep over. i only have to pay for her petrol and the occasional meal or two. but of course, i will be nice and do something for her la.
talking about doing something, i'll be doing charity this saturday woo hoo!!! the last time i did charity was way back in high school. convent to be exact because heck knows the other school i went to in form 5 was just completely ridiculous. and to think, during my last year of high school, my dad retired-got offered a job in another district-we had to move. and i had to attend THAT school. sorry, no offence but i hated it there. i did request to be sent to a co-ed school so that i could be acquainted with ehem...boys. but did they (the parents) listen to my 'silly' request?
noooo...
so i grew up in college hiding away from boys and yet running towards them at the same time. go figure i know. but that school did me good for one thing la. the add math teacher was awesome! i went from zero to beyond a hundred canyouimagineomg. so yes...dear teacher whose name i totally forgot...you made my one year in that horrible school actually bearable.
i also believe that that school was part of the cause of my mom's cancer. you know why you know why? because...if i remember correctly what my mom told me...that 5-6 teachers from that school were diagnosed with cancer. and you know why you know why? because there were those magnetic, electrical towers surrounding the school. i read somewhere that it can cause or trigger the cancer cells you know. but don't ask me for the link.
it's close to 2am and i'm still awake. i can't sleep or at least that's what i think. but i know if i go to bed now eventhough i'm dead tired...i won't be able to sleep. insomnia much you think? hmm...
do you think i'm pretty? i duno la. what do you think?
by the by...do you realise that i don't talk about david anymore? go make your own conclusions la. but i think from now on...i'm keeping my relationship with boys private. don't want the whole world to know that i'm heartbroken or totally in love or whatever you know? but you and i know that i need to vent out somewhere and this is the only place that i can do that freely without judgement.
le sigh...why is life so complicated?
over chinese new year, my dad asked me if i wanted to go back to school to study scriptwriting. what do you think? i used to write pretty good scripts during those black-uni days. there was a lecturer *ehem*drbahar*ehem who complimented my writing skills. the other lecturer who also complimented me was a lecturer in curtin. but i forgot his name already. will let you know once i remember or ask someone. hehe. but yea...what do you think? should i pursue it?
when i was at the crossroad of choosing my career path...there were three roads to choose. the first being, mass communication. at that time, i thought with a mass communication degree, all i can become is a news anchor. hahaha...how wrong i was. the second choice was to go into journalism. i know it's under mass communication now...but not then duh. third choice...an english teacher. that was swept under the carpet immediately. i tried to be a teacher once. my mom conducted tuition classes at our house in the evenings to primary kids. sometimes, my mom would put me in charge for an hour or so because she had errands to do. all i ever did was yell and scream at the kids so that they'll shut up and be very very afraid of me. hehehe...
you know what. maybe i'll just write another post later la. suddenly writing mojo gone. sigh...
by the by...did you know i now have a ping pong mojo? hehehehe...la'ers!
oh wait. you didn't know? i got into a car crash about a month ago...wait..make that a month and a half ago. coming march 17th would've been two months. and yes. it's still in the freaking workshop in freaking sungai buloh. why is it there you ask? because...because. i malas want to explain already la. to cut long long LONG story short...
my car is still in the workshop.
on to some other news...yes? because just talking about my car and it's current situation and home is kinda depressing. i've been leaving with my colleague for the past month or so already. she graciously allowed me to sleep over. i only have to pay for her petrol and the occasional meal or two. but of course, i will be nice and do something for her la.
talking about doing something, i'll be doing charity this saturday woo hoo!!! the last time i did charity was way back in high school. convent to be exact because heck knows the other school i went to in form 5 was just completely ridiculous. and to think, during my last year of high school, my dad retired-got offered a job in another district-we had to move. and i had to attend THAT school. sorry, no offence but i hated it there. i did request to be sent to a co-ed school so that i could be acquainted with ehem...boys. but did they (the parents) listen to my 'silly' request?
noooo...
so i grew up in college hiding away from boys and yet running towards them at the same time. go figure i know. but that school did me good for one thing la. the add math teacher was awesome! i went from zero to beyond a hundred canyouimagineomg. so yes...dear teacher whose name i totally forgot...you made my one year in that horrible school actually bearable.
i also believe that that school was part of the cause of my mom's cancer. you know why you know why? because...if i remember correctly what my mom told me...that 5-6 teachers from that school were diagnosed with cancer. and you know why you know why? because there were those magnetic, electrical towers surrounding the school. i read somewhere that it can cause or trigger the cancer cells you know. but don't ask me for the link.
it's close to 2am and i'm still awake. i can't sleep or at least that's what i think. but i know if i go to bed now eventhough i'm dead tired...i won't be able to sleep. insomnia much you think? hmm...
do you think i'm pretty? i duno la. what do you think?
by the by...do you realise that i don't talk about david anymore? go make your own conclusions la. but i think from now on...i'm keeping my relationship with boys private. don't want the whole world to know that i'm heartbroken or totally in love or whatever you know? but you and i know that i need to vent out somewhere and this is the only place that i can do that freely without judgement.
le sigh...why is life so complicated?
over chinese new year, my dad asked me if i wanted to go back to school to study scriptwriting. what do you think? i used to write pretty good scripts during those black-uni days. there was a lecturer *ehem*drbahar*ehem who complimented my writing skills. the other lecturer who also complimented me was a lecturer in curtin. but i forgot his name already. will let you know once i remember or ask someone. hehe. but yea...what do you think? should i pursue it?
when i was at the crossroad of choosing my career path...there were three roads to choose. the first being, mass communication. at that time, i thought with a mass communication degree, all i can become is a news anchor. hahaha...how wrong i was. the second choice was to go into journalism. i know it's under mass communication now...but not then duh. third choice...an english teacher. that was swept under the carpet immediately. i tried to be a teacher once. my mom conducted tuition classes at our house in the evenings to primary kids. sometimes, my mom would put me in charge for an hour or so because she had errands to do. all i ever did was yell and scream at the kids so that they'll shut up and be very very afraid of me. hehehe...
you know what. maybe i'll just write another post later la. suddenly writing mojo gone. sigh...
by the by...did you know i now have a ping pong mojo? hehehehe...la'ers!
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
malaysian politics and hanky panky
first off...the only person i know who uses the word hanky-panky right now in this day and age...is my sister.
jeez..don't ask why she decided to use that term but yeah...
anyway, so i read an blogpost at quaintly.net regarding an open letter from a company to our politicians. it was rather surprising for me to have actually read that because truth be told, i have not read the papers for a very very long time. ask me what's going on with malaysian politics and i'll say, please ask david because i think he knows it better than i do. i just gave up on the politics and the whole riff raff about 'stealing' states and badgering and slandering and what-have-yous. it's annoying and emberassing really.
so totally memalukan. geram!
jeez..don't ask why she decided to use that term but yeah...
anyway, so i read an blogpost at quaintly.net regarding an open letter from a company to our politicians. it was rather surprising for me to have actually read that because truth be told, i have not read the papers for a very very long time. ask me what's going on with malaysian politics and i'll say, please ask david because i think he knows it better than i do. i just gave up on the politics and the whole riff raff about 'stealing' states and badgering and slandering and what-have-yous. it's annoying and emberassing really.
so totally memalukan. geram!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
just perfect...
Kau begitu sempurna
Di mataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku akan slalu memujamu
Di setiap langkahku
Ku kan slalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa ku bayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu
*Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Tak kan mampu menghadapi semua,
hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku, lengkapi diriku
oh sayangku kau begitu,
sempurna....
Kau genggam tanganku
saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
kau bisikan kata yang hapus semua sesalku
(*)
...i miss you.
Friday, January 30, 2009
perhaps, you know
david and i broke up three weeks ago. his decision.
i saw it coming a while ago already. besides, from my previous post, i should have really seen it coming kan?
i miss him still even though people are telling me i should not and instead, should just move on. to quote a good friend:
'the best way to move on is to be with someone else'.
easy for someone who always had that someone with her. someone she liked and had a crush on even when she was with her ex. i don't. i never liked or had a major crush on someone while i was with david. although apart, we were still emotionally attached. now, i don't know. i love him very very much still but he...i don't know.
should i move on or hope for the best between us? i don't know what to do or feel. part of me just wants to up and leave to be by his side right now. a small part of me just wants to forget everything and move on. but i can't. perhaps it's because the wound is still so fresh i don't know.
can i just hide for a while?
all i wanted was to be with him. now that's gone. and it's my fault.
i saw it coming a while ago already. besides, from my previous post, i should have really seen it coming kan?
i miss him still even though people are telling me i should not and instead, should just move on. to quote a good friend:
'the best way to move on is to be with someone else'.
easy for someone who always had that someone with her. someone she liked and had a crush on even when she was with her ex. i don't. i never liked or had a major crush on someone while i was with david. although apart, we were still emotionally attached. now, i don't know. i love him very very much still but he...i don't know.
should i move on or hope for the best between us? i don't know what to do or feel. part of me just wants to up and leave to be by his side right now. a small part of me just wants to forget everything and move on. but i can't. perhaps it's because the wound is still so fresh i don't know.
can i just hide for a while?
all i wanted was to be with him. now that's gone. and it's my fault.
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